Evaporating Time

The last year has flown by.  Dang.  It's been amazing.

It seems like one year off from full time work would be enough time to write The Great American Novel, create an amazing body of artwork, visit everyone, and re-do my entire house.

But here's the truth:

Time has a way of evaporating.

There are still the realities of your everyday (dishes, laundry, dinner, etc.) paired with not having an income and being careful about spending (hello art supplies! hello travel!).  If you have a partner in this life, you want to make them a priority as well.  And honestly, I love to read, so...

PLUS, I'm the type of person who thinks, "I should use this time to [insert huge OTHER project]." READ: getting married in 3 months with a DIY party for 100 people.

On top of all of this, I started looking for a job months out from when I really wanted to start.

It is really a job in and of itself to get a job.

So, what was left was time fairly well spent (see earlier post about what I've accomplished).

If I had to do it again, I'd not have thrown the wedding (just gotten married & maybe done a great honeymoon).  The party was great fun, but it did consume 3 months of my time off which could have been spent on art / writing.

AND LISTEN...

I'm under no illusions - taking a year off is pretty selfish - especially if you have a partner.  Even paying for myself (I'm an independent woman!) doesn't mean that it's not selfish.  I mean, you end up putting not just your, but BOTH of your lives pretty "on hold" until you figure out what your new job and what your new life will look like.  

It has felt like a pampering.  I feel refreshed.  I feel creative.  I feel inspired.
I feel HOPEFUL.

I'm very lucky.

To top it off?  I found an amazing organization to work at!  So, all in all, mostly a success.

Another First Day of School

I've always been a weirdo.  It's cool, I come by it honestly.  And really, all the interesting people are weirdos.

But man, I hated grade school (standing in a snowy field on the brightest day with a migraine and no sunglasses hatred - you'll live, but it'll be excruciating).  It's really hard to be a weirdo in grade school.

At the end of 4th grade, one of my best friends moved away.  At the end of 5th, I was miserable, and at the end of 6th, I was desperate to get out.  So, with the help of my parish, my parents agreed to let me go to a private school 7th (and 8th) grade.

I remember the first day of 7th grade.  I had my packed lunch and was filled with happy anticipation to meet all new people and make lots of friends.  I was sad for summer to end, but I was ready for a new experience.

I mean, I kinda already knew what it would be like (it was still school, afterall), but not entirely. Would I make a ton of friends?  Would they like me???  Would I be able to keep all my stuff somewhere?  Would there be any cute boys?  Would I like my teachers?  What if I was the dumbest in the class?

Starting a new job is kinda like starting the first day of a new school.

An aside...
I'm lucky enough to have found a position that meets almost all of my hopes (!), but first day jitters will still be first day jitters.

A bit about the position I'm starting...
     - A mission that dovetails with my own personal moral compass!
     - People that seem super interesting and open
     - A chance to really learn both a new skill-set AND from colleagues

Unfortunately, I can't walk to work, but in the future, I may be able to bike to work, and that'd be pretty great.

I remember my first day of 7th grade well.  The day started when I met a certain red-headed nemesis. Upon walking in, she was holding court and announced, "Oh, I was hoping you were going to be someone else." (it did not much improve from there.).

BUT, I also met a bunch of amazing, funny, weird 8th graders.

In the end, I was victor, as I was voted Student Council President, she was unable to steal away my best friend (as if !), AND two of those amazing 8th graders I'm still good friends with today and they continue to enrich my life.

I'm convinced my new job will have no nemeses and a slew of 8th graders.  I'm not sure if that's because the organization is small, if it's because they are community focused, or if it's the draw of non-profit (translation: you will never be rich from this job, so you must really believe in the mission), but whatever the reason - I'm once again going to pack a lunch and bring a heaping helping of happy anticipation on my first day.

...in the off-chance you are in grade school or middle school and reading this - hold on!  It gets better in high school and it's a million times better in college.  The misfits are the ones who make life interesting.  Everyone will realize this when they are older and wish that they were friends with you.

Part IV: Sometimes my inner commentary sounds like tweets from The Onion

Girl watches cat for 12 hours straight, "It's like we're the same person.".

Angie's List Magazine most anticipated periodical each month in the Smith household.

Husband sleeping on couch because it's more comfortable.

Upper middle class only child excited to start first job. "I'll be okay.  Mom will pack me a lunch," says the 25 year old.

New iPhone App allows you to power the electronic signals to your heart through your phone or tablet.  "This way I don't ever have to watch what I eat or exercise.  All I have to do is to remember never to stray too far from an outlet."

Single girl secretly hates Pinterest. "Sometimes I'm really glad to go to weddings just so I don't have to see wedding boards constantly in my Pinterest feed. Not that Pinteresting, actually. You pinned 227 dresses. That seems helpful."

The case for BROCCOLI (and ice cream)

Sometimes, when I'm feeling kinda low energy, I'll eat broccoli.

 Broccoli might not be the first food you think of, but it totally works!

There are many reasons to eat broccoli:

1. Broccoli is delicious!
2. Broccoli looks like trees!
3. Broccoli is good for you, gives you energy, your brain likes it, and it's good for your skin.

But sometimes, I still also want to eat ice cream.

Because, ice cream is also delicious...

Interviewing Surprises and Excitment

I had a phone interview on a recent Monday. The interview had been pushed back, rescheduled, and almost did not happen. 

When it did happen, it was great! Surprise! I had thought the position was a wash, but it turned out to be a super exciting opportunity!

At the end of the phone interview, I was invited to an in-person meeting with some other team members. Was I available on Thursday (I was not)? How about Monday early morning (I was!)?

Then, the next day, I was sent an email to the effect of: You may ONLY interview on Thursday at time-X ("Unfortunately our time is limited and I will not be able to offer you another time or reschedule.").

I fretted.

 - Did they purposefully ask for a time they knew I was unavailable because they already had someone else in mind (and did really NOT want me to come in for the interview, but felt obligated since that was how the Monday phone interview ended)?

 - Did I really want to work at a place that was so inflexible?

 - Was it really possible that there was NO other time available?

 - Was this indicative of the culture of the company?

 - Could I even change my schedule to make it??

I did change my schedule, and interviewed on that Thursday. I fully expected (given my other experiences with interviewing), that they'd already have someone else in mind for the position.

What I did not expect was a great meeting! I was very pleased that the more I learned about the organization, the more I felt connected to it. The energy, mission, and people are all of my ilk. It was an uplifting experience to see that a connection such as this could still be possible!

A few take-away lessons from this experience:

1. Benefit of the doubt. While a lot of interviewing is dreadful, don't assume that every experience will also be dreadful. There are still good people out there to work for. Besides, when you ASSUME, you make an ASS out of U and ME...

2. Go anyway. Even if you are 70% sure that this is NOT going to work out, you should go to the interview. Whether you think they've already decided on someone else or you just get a bad vibe. Here's the thing - you don't know FOR SURE. So, GO to the interview. Find out as much about the nature of the position and the organization as possible.

3. Confidence. Not only show up at the interview, but show up believing you are the best person for the job. They would not have asked you to come in if they did not see something that interested them about you. Even if they have decided to hire someone else, you may change their mind when they meet you.

I have only been applying to positions I really want and to which I am well suited. I AM the best person for the job. They'd be luck to have me. This is your attitude.

In addition, I would add...

4. Practice. The more I interview, the better I get.

5. Ask questions. I have become fearless. This is the place you will be working. Hopefully, this is the place I will be working at for the next 10 years or more.  I will give it my 110%. So, I ask questions. Heck, I even ask about the funding sources, the stability of the funding, and the growth of the company.

and finally...

6. Keep your chin up. It's really hard not to get discouraged, but keep your chin up. Remember that finding a job will probably take 6 months. Keep sight of the big picture - if you find a job you love that you can stay at for 5, 10, 15 years, won't it all be worth it?!

7. Luck. Sometimes, it's just bloody luck. So, don't go getting on yourself if you are not offered a job. It might just be that they really hit it off with someone else - almost a chemical reaction. Also, nepotism is a real thing. It might also just be that you hit the interviewer on a bad day. There are factors that are out of your control. Accept it and move on.

2013 - A Year in Review as a [F]-unemployed Artist

The new year and resolutions have me asking myself...
"Self, since I've been [f]unemployed, what have I done?"

- READ.  My best estimate is that I've read between 35 & 40 books this year.  It's possible I've read more.  I've read a lot in other formats as well (op-ed, texts, etc.).
- WROTE.  100,000+ words of fiction.
- Blogged.  I'm still getting the hang of it.
- Cooked.  Yes, my faithful readers, I've become a decent cook.  Yes, really.
- Party-planned.  All that wedding planning & projecting & sewing...so much time!
- Art-ed.  Some.  I've definitely written more than I've art-ed.  But, I've done some textiles work, painting, drawing, and some planning & thinking about art.
- Job-searched, applied, & interviewed.  What a HUGE time-suck and unrewarding experience.
- House Reno. We figure, in 20 years, this house will be great.
- Volunteered.  Yay me!  I always talk about volunteering and I actually had some time to do so.  Hopefully, I can continue this.
- Learned!  I tried all kinds of new small things making and doing...from textiles projects to chocolate martinis, from house reno to psychological topics, from traveling to New Orleans to a few days in NYC & Atlantic City.
- Centered myself.  I feel great.  I may be broke and jobless, but I am without a doubt the happiest I've been in years and years.  I am better able in trying situations to ask myself, "What is really important here?" or "Is this really important - big picture?" and I believe, have made more patient and empathetic decisions in my day-to-day life.  I am more appreciative of what I have.  The people in my life, foremost.  My house, my cat, my relationships, my studio space, my education, my future, this break.

New Year's Resolutions

Imma only make some resolutions I truly believe I can keep.

- Land employment I can feel good about (bonus: be able to walk/bike to work)
- Cut back on sugar (nearly everything contains sugar, so not completely out, just back)
- Finish the story I'm working on (I am perhaps 1/2 way there)
- Make art.  Make at least one really great piece / series
- Continue to blog
- Finish the bedroom (if I am employed, this includes furnishings; if I am not employed, everything except)
- Declutter...including my studio

Bonus goal:
- Vacation

Mummers! New Years Day 2014 - HNY!

I was dancing, it was dark, and I was shooting on my phone, but it's still pretty fun!  If you've not done 2 Street in Philly, this is just a glimpse at what you're missing!

Please be patient with it loading, it's kinda a large file - enjoy!