Part IV: Sometimes my inner commentary sounds like tweets from The Onion

Girl watches cat for 12 hours straight, "It's like we're the same person.".

Angie's List Magazine most anticipated periodical each month in the Smith household.

Husband sleeping on couch because it's more comfortable.

Upper middle class only child excited to start first job. "I'll be okay.  Mom will pack me a lunch," says the 25 year old.

New iPhone App allows you to power the electronic signals to your heart through your phone or tablet.  "This way I don't ever have to watch what I eat or exercise.  All I have to do is to remember never to stray too far from an outlet."

Single girl secretly hates Pinterest. "Sometimes I'm really glad to go to weddings just so I don't have to see wedding boards constantly in my Pinterest feed. Not that Pinteresting, actually. You pinned 227 dresses. That seems helpful."