Civility and Gratitude

Life has recently conspired to send me the same message over and over.  I can be somewhat obtuse and slow-witted, so perhaps Cosmic Karma is covering all her bases to be sure her message eventually is clear.

I have been receiving this centering message via literature, social engagement, social media, current events, and chance happenings.  My message has been delivered to be timed with the holidays and turning of the calendar year, which has intensified its meaning and added deeper thought to an otherwise only slightly contemplative time.

As my message has been materializing as a soft whisper or slight suggestion for a number of weeks, I've had a chance to mull it over.  It's turned in my brain, entered my dreams, colored my holiday baking.  I've almost grasped at her meaning in a moment of distraction or daydreaming only to lose sight of her when my eyes returned focus to the physical around me.  And so, I write this post without a fully realized understanding, but with a reach for something more profound.

...

I've been doing a lot of reading...finally getting around to reading Sinclair's The Jungle*, as well as Burrough's Junky (just finished this morning), Proust's Swann's Way*, and some weeks ago having finished Mulligan's Call of the Lark in which she describes her youth in an impoverished Ireland, and reading online articles including articles such as this article oh and this article too.

Standout recent events have stayed with me as stock for the message soup.  Notably, my grandmom's loss of her jewelry (stolen - including her high school class ring and other items worth more in emotional than monetary significance) and a frank discussion with friends who have so much to be grateful for, but are bitter and angry instead.

Each of my readings, of my gatherings with friends and family, of my job hunt and struggle with the give and take of a capitalistic society, of my growing appreciation for a partner I love but also am so grateful for, and of my struggle with creativity in all her forms, each of these has entered into a dialog with my reading and these other events.

I am filled with a warring sense of gratitude, annoyance, and sadness.  Annoyed that we can live in a system which seems powerless to help those who really need it and more importantly, a system which places blame on those who are the least fortunate of us.  That the scapegoat becomes the poor, uneducated, and underprivileged.  Annoyed to hear those with means and even those with just enough blame those with very little instead of those with much.

...

Some months ago, I was struck by a conversation similar to this article (or here on the Huff Post) which speaks to sharing.

Toddlers know they should share, but the compulsion to keep their booty for themselves wins out.  As children age and mature and are able to balance their emotions with a moral inner-dialog, their ability to share grows.  Children at 5 or 6 share somewhat, children at 7 or 8 are sharing half of their bounty.

Applied to those members of our society, I have determined that those of the 1% and wealthy top percents are, therefore, the toddlers of our society.  They do not possess the moral inner-dialog which allows them to share.  Instead they buy politicians who create laws to allow them to take more from others.  Instead they hold their money.  Instead banks do not lend, minimum wage is not increased, food safety is not addressed, the environment is laid to waste.  All so that the toddlers of our society may have a 2nd jet or a 3rd yacht.  These are the most savage of us.  These are the people who are beholden to their own basest yearnings - the most uncivilized among us.

I suppose most of us fall somewhere between toddler and eight-year old.  And a few - the truly civilized of the bunch, share nearly everything.  These are the Mother Theresas of the world, the Pope Francises, the man who is talented, but shares his talent NOT for a high-paying corporate job, but to be an educator, a pastor, a mentor.

I confess, I'm a sucker for a pretty pair of shoes, I'd love to re-do my kitchen, and I am subject to be drawn in by Pinterest.

I'm not advocating we all become Mother Theresa.  I suppose I'm merely remarking that those who should be most respected are not those who have been handed wealth (or gotten there by dubious and selfish means), but by those who choose to share.  Those who share their wealth, their time, their talents.

I digress...

To come back to the gratitude and walk away from the annoyance (or perhaps, put it on the shelf and use it to fuel my letter-writing, volunteering, and other such motivations), I wish to advocate, my faithful reader, for gratitude.  Yes.  Yes.  My earlier...um, rant, perhaps aside, I am also every day reminded of how lucky I am.

I am saddened when I hear people with so much speak only of what they feel has been wrongly taken from them.  To hear others measure the sum of their lives as a monetary sum which they have lost over the years.  Annoyed to listen to people look to others as if they owe them something.

I believe it is all perspective.  Happiness is a choice.  We do encounter truly difficult things.  Everyone has their demons they fight every day.  You may not see them, but they are there.  BUT, for most of us, despite trials and difficulties, we have much to be thankful for.

I'm still not sure exactly what the message is...perhaps to be thankful for what you have.  Look at what you have and appreciate what you have today, right now, in this very moment.  Let the little things go.  Embrace the gifts you do have.  Work for betterment.  Let go of anger and bitterness or better yet, use it to fuel action toward the positive.

I'm very lucky.  I try to remember this in every moment.  It isn't always easy, but it's there.  I only need look for it.

*available for free through DailyLit.com or other such sites that gain access to classics